• Cindy

Boys will be boys

There are statistics that show that males break bones at a higher frequency than females. While girls stay home and bake cakes, play with dolls, and paint their nails, boys are outside doing ridiculously stupid things.

Every time I see a boy in a cast, I wonder what kind of dumb ass stunt did he try to pull off that earned him quality time in a cast.

When I was 12, I was swinging on a swing in our backyard minding my own business. The kid next door - his name was Billy Fuller -- had a crush on me. He was 11. Billy decided to show me how manly he was by climbing this huge oak tree we had in the backyard.

Billy was about 30 feet above ground when the branch he was standing on broke. I watched in disbelief as Billy plunged to the ground screaming. When he landed, I heard a loud popping sound like a gun being fired. Billy's screams intensified and he began rolling around on the ground clutching his leg.

I was momentarily stunned but somehow managed to work up the courage to go over and try to help Billy. Even at the age of 12, I had some innate nursing tendencies in me. My sadistic side would develop later I guess.

Billy was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. It was the middle of summer and hot as hell in Charlotte, NC. I told Billy to stop rolling around and noticed blood was beginning to appear on the right leg of his yellow shorts. I knelt down and pulled up his short leg up an inch or two. It was then that I saw the end of Billy's broken right femur poking through the skin.

Looking back on this memory after so many decades have gone by, I still wonder how I remained so calm. I told Billy that he was going to be fine, asked him not to move, and ran toward my house to get my older sister.

Denise, my sister, was 16 at the time. Because mom and dad were both at work, Denise was in charge of me. I screamed for her once I got into the kitchen. No response. I went into the den and screamed again. Still no Denise. Finally, she came down the stairs from upstairs with a pissed off look on her face. She was pulling a shirt over her bare boobs. It was then I realized she was upstairs making out with her boyfriend. At that age, I had only a vague concept of what sex was.

Denise has never been the sharpest tool in the shed. While I earned both a bachelors and masters degree in my 20's, Denise barely made it out of high school. She started having babies at the ripe old age of 18.

Anyway, I explained what had happened to Denise and she reluctantly agreed to go outside and look at Billy. By that time Billy was pale as a ghost. His pants leg was soaked with blood. His eyes were closed and he was moaning. Denise took one look at Billy's leg, screamed, and threw up at the base of the offending oak tree.

Realizing that Denise was going to be of no use in this situation, I ran next door to get help. Fortunately, Mrs. Owen, who was a nurse, was at home. Without even seeing Billy, she had the presence of mind to call 911. She grabbed a bunch of towels and did her best to stabilize Billy until the ambulance arrived.

The medics arrived 10 minutes later. Denise was already upstairs again with her boyfriend. I sat in the swing and watched quietly as the medics cut off Billy's clothes. That was the first time I had seen a penis. I had only a vague idea what boys did with it. The medics splinted Billy's broken leg while Billy screamed madly. I admired Mrs. Owen who calmly assisted the medics throughout the triage scene under the oak. After 30 minutes or so, Billy was carted off by ambulance to Mercy Hospital.

Two weeks later, Billy came home in a pearly white spica cast. Billy wore that cast for four months and was then placed in a full leg cast for another two months. Billy was not walking without a limp until Easter of the next year.

Billy is a typical boy. He tried innocently to impress the girl next door with his tree climbing ability and ended up helpless for six. No Billy. I was not impressed.

Here is a little gallery for the Billy's of the world.

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