• Cindy

Yoga Woman of the Year - Mel

Updated: Mar 31, 2019


I often wonder why I exist. Is there really a God who ordained me to be on this planet? Or am I just a product of evolution? Or maybe part of Lamarck's life force theory. Or part of some weird alien experiment to see how human's react to fucked up situations.


The point is, I spend at least a little time each week pondering the meaning of life. I consider myself intelligent. I have a university degree. I work five days a week at a challenging job. I devote time to this Blog for the enjoyment of the cast community. I do volunteer work at a homeless shelter. I love and care for my family.


I am not perfect by any means. But I am not Cindy centric. I care more about others than I do myself.


Many people don't. Many people don't care why they were born. And they don't work. They don't have kids. They don't give a shit about anyone else. They exist only to please themselves.


Welcome to this blog. Our topic today is 'Mel - Yoga Women' of the Year.


Mel is a 30 something California corn flake. She is an air head. Barely high school educated. Dumb as a brick.


Married to a rich business man. And barren as a a Nevada nuclear bomb testing site. Fortunately for the world, Mel will not be producing children. No 'little Mel's for us to have to deal with.


Her husband hates her and screws around on her every chance he gets.


Mel spends every waking moment of every day taking pictures of herself. And not just any pictures. Pictures of her doing yoga. Here is a sampling.




Mel is so self centered and so enamored with herself, she has posted over 17,000 pictures of herself on social media sites in the last 4 years. For those mathematicians in the group, that is over 12 pictures a day every day for 4 years!


So, Mel had a little accident two years ago. She was in her driveway in Northern California doing some type of crazy yoga pose. Of course she had carefully positioned her cell phone to capture the whole exhilarating event. As you can see from the video below, things did not go as planned. Mel managed to break her femur.






Here is the little vixens own account of the accident.


" It's taken a while for me to put this together as it's still so hard to believe this happened and seeing my video just makes my heart race💔 A little over two weeks ago I fractured my right femur in a pose I've done countless times before and if you swipe once you'll see how it all took place. No falling, no gore, just one loud POP so if you're unsure you can handle it keep the sound off🔇This was the third lotus of the day and maybe 200th over the past 3 years!! My inverted lotus still needs some wiggling and the pressure was just too much this time. While in shock and not knowing what I did, I repeated "Oh my god!" for about 30 seconds before I told myself to SHUT UP and start breathing. I was outside alone and knew panicking wasn't going to help. The pain wasn't terrible (shock can be a beautiful thing😂) and I honestly thought if I calmed down enough I could just walk it off, but when I tried to move I instantly knew something was either dislocated or broke. I couldn't even get my phone that was 4-5 ft in front of me. So the real video is actually 17 minutes including the look of relief and finally tears at the end as my husband pulled into our driveway completely unaware that our next stop would be the hospital. I spent a little over 6 hours in this broken state and let me tell you shock certainly doesn't last that long!!!! Next I was placed in traction for 14 hours prior to having surgery. Goodness! I was ready to have my bones put back together. So 7 incisions later, I now have a hole through my shin and a rod inserted through my knee and up through my femur to the top of my thigh with 3 screws holding it in place. The last slide shows what the break looks like back together. So no cast and now my leg will forever be bionic. This type of repair could allow one to walk shortly after surgery, but because my break was at such a steep angle my surgeon didn't want to chance any slipping so now my expected walk date is 7/18. Counting my blessings and certainly counting down the days!!! Also, so thankful for all the poses I still can do without my leg to keep me busy🙏🏻




What Mel does not know to this day, is that her hubby was fucking his secretary while Mel laid in the driveway for six hours. I am sure he would have run her over if he had seen her when he returned from his afternoon delight. Instead he ended up holding her had while doctors placed her leg traction that night.


Mel was not deterred by a little broken femur. Knowing that the world was created just so people could look at her body, she continued to post pictures on social media sites at a frenzied pace.




Now, I am the first to admit that I am not as young and pretty as Mel. And I do have a bit of a sadistic streak in me. But I laughed out loud when I saw the pea brained, self centered, princess snap her femur in half. I would pay good money to get the 17 minute version of the clip.


Mel got exactly what she deserved.

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